“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
Og Mandino
Having a purpose and goals to mark your journey will keep the light of hope alive on those dark and cold days.
As I talked about hope being alive in us, it needs a purpose to build upon to remain active and grow. Purpose defines the steps we take towards our created design and being men that are authentic to the world around us. You and I must have goals and markers laying out ahead of us to be successful in renovating our lives. Idle minds and hearts erode the soul.
Each of us was created with an instinct to do something with ourselves, to have meaning and purpose. In our life journey, we decided to succumb to a version of sedation that numbed our drive to flourish. By doing so, our sedation leads to a loss of directional control within our lives. We became a cork in the tumultuous sea of life blown around by a wind that drives us away from our created purpose. We can set our rudder back in the water and use that wind to put us on course of who we genuinely are.
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
Jimmy Dean
It can be overwhelming to figure out what you want your life to be if you have never stopped to consider what that is for you. Making goals is a process that will take time to develop and mature, be patient with yourself. There will be failures in the learning, so break those failures down and gain insight from them. Let’s look at some intentional ways to start creating goals in our lives.
1- Start small and simple.
One day, one thing to change one degree. Life changes don’t happen in a momentous giant event but minor effective changes. What is one little thing you can improve today?
2- Make it your own.
Read and learn from the works of others about goal setting. Use those as a foundation to create a custom plan that fits you. You are a unique person, and following what others do will not always complement and work for you. This is a part of discovering who you are.
3- Remain flexible in your goals.
Part of renovating yourself is having set in stone standards that need to be a part of your foundation. Flexibility is another component of your life. If something is not working right or doesn’t fit with your life, then change those goals. It’s okay to change course as long as it moves towards an improved and healthy version of you.
4- Tell others about your goals.
Our addictions and hidden behaviors thrived in secrecy, which led to the destruction of our lives. To strengthen the muscle of transparency, we need to tell others about our internal thoughts. Find another brother who knows your story and can see your life from a different angle. This perspective will help shine light and allow growth into our lives.
A website and podcast developed by Noah B.E. Church, helped me start thinking and writing down what I wanted from my life. https://addictedtointernetporn.com/?p=764. Noah has a deep knowledge and experience of porn addiction recovery and brings a solid approach to living without porn. I have gleaned insight from him and even written my version of what I want from my life using his outline. You can use Noah’s outline for other addictions or shortcomings you struggle with in life.
The most effective way you can make your goals and purposes a reality is to write them down. By doing so, will place a document in your possession that gives you responsibility to obtain. What you write as your purpose will become your motivation to attain. It will become your heartbeat that revives your soul into being the man you most long to be. You consciously decide to work towards your given destination. Meaning becomes alive inside of you, which you choose to take responsibility for.
To work and have a purpose is our created design, so our lives will bring forth delight and fruit. The most challenging work we can engage in is ourselves. To strain under what it means to be you and build towards a more excellent version of yourself. This is work you alone are responsible for developing.
"I am ready for my life to be rebuilt, I will not give up on myself, and I will do whatever it takes. No matter what lies before me or how long this journey may take, I will fight on because I am worth it."
Above are my last lines in the “Man I’m Meant to Be” a written statement from 2018. It has been a difficult journey with emotional and devasting losses and lessons learned. I welcome the discomfort and hard work, for it has produced a stronger, more mature man. It is from having a purpose and goals that have kept me moving forward towards a more excellent me.
Being purposeful is also about community and having others around for support and guidance. I am grateful for a group of brothers that I can call on to fight along my side. They are my sounding board and encouragers that know my story and faults. Through them, many battles have been victorious, and wisdom gained.
Most importantly is my spiritual life and drawing closer to my Creator. Without being connected to the Vine, my soul would have withered away and died. We all have a given spirit that needs to be fed and developed. That spirit is our voice and guide when we are alone in the cold darkness. Acknowledge your spirit and who gave it to you. I am deeply grateful for the work the Spirit has done in me.
Wherever you are at, no matter what you have done, you are not alone, and you are worthy of redemption.
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Rebuilding the Heart of Man 